Arrrggghhh

I'm listening to 'angry' Christian music today... well, as angry as Christian music gets.

You see, I am extremely ticked today. Yes, I said 'ticked '. Originally, I said something else that was kind of like a bathroom function or a British word for drunk, but the Cybersitter on my work computer wouldn't let me. For those of you that will read this and don't know me, understand that I am the biggest underachiever on the planet. I am so afraid of failure that I truly never try. I keep getting promoted anyway. I don't quite get that, but whatever. Oh, I do my job and whatever is in front of me, but someone has to put it there. Right now my life has been pretty well structured that I always know what I have to do next. I like that more than I thought I would.

So enter my nemesis... I'll call her Captain Brown-nose. (Originally I called her a name that meant she was completely bunchy in her under garment region, but... well same as above) Captain Brown-nose is a department head. Ooooo... that makes her sooo special. Suffice it to say that she is higher on the food chain than I am, but, remember, I don't truly care because I don't want to fail. That said, Captain wad has been trying to get me in trouble. She has been investigating my work.... have I done it? how well have I done it? and so on and so forth. She is not my department head. You needed to know that.

Not only has she been checking on me... she has been lying about it! She told my boss that people came to her to tell her all of my nefarious deeds. Noooo, she called them into her office. My boss, who is super sweet and totally non-confrontational, just wants me to let it blow over. All I can say is that inside I am screaming "Let me at her!"

I think that you need more history before you decide that Senora Brown-nose should be skewered. Last Summer, Senora Brown-nose was my boss. Yikes! was that rough! She used to yell at her employees for no reason. Even when she messed up, we would be blamed for it. I adopted an attitude that said "no matter what, you must be right". That was a tough one, but I did it. And she still kept yelling. Personally, I won't yell at someone unless I'm married to them, gave birth to them, are related to them, or I really think that they suck. So I was shocked that she would yell. A lot. So I decided, after very little forethought on my part, that I would ask her to stop. I think some of the words that crossed my lips where things like "please stop treating me like your red headed step child" and things of that nature.

She really wanted to fire me, but the big boss likes how I sing so she wasn't allowed. Fast forward a year and here we are. Apparently she is either still angry with me that she had to stop yelling at me or she has some new vendetta. Knowing her as I do, last year is probably forgotten and this is just an outpouring of her inner bitterness and an emptying of her cancerous soul. But that's just a guess. Or she may just want to stir up crap. How stupid.

This would not be so bad if I didn't have another visitor in my office last week. Last week someone else came to me to unburden themselves. I will call him Whiner Man. Now Whiner Man wanted to let me know that he had been talking about me behind my back, but that he wanted to ask my forgiveness. Wow. I know how this works. I will probably even forgive him. However this is what I said... something to the effect that "it was none of my business what he thought of me and if he was talking about me behind my back, that is really between him and God... that what he did speaks more about his character, or lack thereof, than anything he said about me." Or something like that.

I am just so sick of people not simply standing up and saying, "I'm not perfect... in fact sometimes I'm an idiot!". Life is so much simpler when you just cop to your own failings and MOVE ON. I strongly dislike this 'jockeying for position' thing that goes on... all so that someone can feel alright about themselves. Have some pride in how God made you! It is enough! You don't have to be anymore than you already are! I know God just loves me to death ... literally. He is probably up there shaking His head quite frequently at my mishaps, but He loves me to no end. I don't understand why other people, then, have to struggle against one another. It is such a time-suck.

Anyhow, that is enough of my rant. I haven't quite decided what to do about either, but I know that this whole thing will be interesting regardless.

Love to you all out there, Muffinhound